I put up this anonymous question app thing on Instagram and received the following question:

“You deal with some really heavy things at work, how do you emotionally decompress from it?”

Work in this case refers to work among homeless folks, I assume. Here’s what I said:

I notice my personality disassociate when something really fucked up or violent happens. In these moments I try to just be a good audience member: notice what’s happening, what I’m seeing, look for details, remind myself in that moment that it’s ok to feel whatever I feel later.

With the more run of the mill stuff that piles up I try to keep my ego out of it. The work and the people aren’t about me.

Yeah I’m there but if I get too in my head about my special part in it it’s corrosive.

Finally, against current trends re self care, I think focusing on feeling better is a mistake. Fucked up shit making you feel bad means something is right with you. Feel bad, experience your emotions, let them wash over you and through you. Hold yourself close. Grieve. Tell someone.